Things I'll Never Say
by CaroxxJane
Summary: I guess I'm wishing my life away. With these things I'll never say" AlliXJohnny Post - Heart of Glass
1. Dirty Little Secret

"Hey, Anya?" Anya looked towards Alli and smiled. "Yes?" She said, her smile faltering a bit when she notice how uneasy the younger girl looked. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about something." Alli said, refusing to meet Anya's eyes. "What is it?" Anya asked, a look of concern crossing her face. "Not here. Somewhere private." Alli told her.

"Umm, sure." Anya said, grabbing on to Alli's hand and leading her into the bathroom. Anya checked to make sure there was nobody in the stalls, then turned to face Alli. Alli inhaled deeply and then said "I slept with Johnny." Anya gaped at her. Alli looked down at the floor.

"Seriously?" Alli looked back up. "Yep." Anya took a deep breath. "Does Sav know?" she asked. Alli shook her head. "Are you going to tell him?" Anya asked. "I don't know. I want to tell him, but then he'll get all mad. But, if I don't tell him, I'll have keep it a secret. I just have absolutely no idea what to do."

"Well, I think, you should just go ahead and get this off your chest. And, I'll go with you, just in case you need me." Anya told her. "So, are you and Johnny still together?" Alli smiled. "Yeah, we are." "Is it, like, weird between you guys? I mean, since you two, you know…" Anya asked. "It was at first, but everything is back to normal. And, all those girls you were talking about, he never slept with any of them."

"Oh. Well, I need to get to class, I'll come by your house later and you can tell Sav." Anya said, while gathering up her books. "Okay, see you later." Alli said, as she exited the bathroom. Anya followed behind her. Anya had one thing on her mind: how was she going to keep this from Sav?

TBC…

A/N: Wow, first multi-chapter fic. I wrote this because I recently boarded the Jalli ship and I felt like some one needed to tell Sav because he is so out of the loop. Well, more chapters soon.

PS: I'm putting the disclaimer here: I do not own Degrassi, the name of this chappie is named after a song by All-American Rejects, and this fic is named after a song by Avril Lavigne.

-Caroline 3


	2. Trouble Is A Friend

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, I'm just playing with the characters. This fic is named after a song by Avril Lavigne, this chapter, Lenka.

The end of the school day was getting closer and closer and Alli was a little nervous. Strike that, extremely nervous. She had already chewed off the nails on all of her fingers and had resorted to tapping her pencil on her desk. Clare leaned over to her and whispered, "Will you stop that?" Alli looked over at her friend, "Sorry." Alli put down her pencil and Clare went back to focusing on the teacher.

Alli anxiously chewed on her bottom lip, before tapping her, nail-less, fingers on the side of her binder. Clare sat there, looking only mildly agitated, for about a minute or so, then she turned around and asked, "Is something wrong, Alli?" Alli looked up at Clare, "It's nothing." She told her. Clare was going to say something else, but was interrupted by the sound of the bell.

Alli gathered her books and walked out of the classroom. She walked down the hallway to her locker, slipped on her ankle length skirt and long sleeved blouse, and put her books away, before making her way to Johnny's locker. On the way over, she spotted Anya.

"So, you'll be there, right?" Alli asked her. "Don't worry about it," Anya assured her, "After much persuasion, Sav agreed to convince your dad to let me come over to study, everything will be fine." Alli smiled at the older girl, "Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to actually tell Johnny about this." Anya rolled her eyes, "So, he doesn't know what your doing?" "He has no idea." Alli told her.

Anya put a hand on her shoulder, said "Good luck.", and walked away. Alli took a deep breath and strode towards her boyfriend. "Hey." She greeted him, leaning against the locker beside him. He turned to face her, putting the last of his belongings into his locker and closing it. "Hi, what's up?" Alli bit down on her lower lip, something that she only did when she was feeling anxious. "So, I told Anya about…us. And what happened. At the ravine." She told him, watching his expression as what she was saying seemed to click in his mind.

"Alright. Why?" Johnny asked. "Because I need her there when I tell Sav." That certainly got his attention. "You want to tell your brother what we did? Why the hell would you-" "I feel kind of guilty about keeping it from him. He is my brother, after all." Alli said. They were speaking quietly, now. Trying to make sure their conversation didn't end up on the Anti – Grapevine.

"Exactly. The same older brother that started freaking out when we were just in the same tent together on a school trip." He reminded her. _'He has a point. Sav will probably get really pissed at the pair of you.'_ A voice that sounded suspiciously like Holly J chimed in her head. Alli knew better than to listen to that voice. She found it was a much better idea to listen to the advice of a Clare like voice, which was now saying, _'Sav has a right to know, at least, what's going on in your life, some of the time.'_

_Hearing voices is a sign of insanity,_ Alli thought. "Well, I plan on telling him anyways." She stated firmly, crossing her arms over her chest. He sighed in defeat, knowing that, no matter what he said, Alli would do what she wanted to. "Fine. It's been nice knowing you." He told her, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. Alli laughed and playfully smacked his arm. "It won't be that bad."

At least, Alli hoped it wouldn't.

--

A/N: Finally! Its taken me a while, but, I've finally got another chapter up. I am currently in St. Augustine, Florida and my grandfather's internet sucks, so it keeps crapping out on me. Well, I promise she will actually tell Sav in the next chapter, but this seemed like a good stopping point.

Reviews FTW,

Caroline


	3. Weightless

Dinner at the Bhandari household was quiet and uncomfortable. Alli was picking at her food, Sav was eating quietly, Mr. Bhandari kept looking up from his plate so he could glance at either Anya or Sav, and Mrs. Bhandari looked like she was about to start up a conversation, but decided against it.

After a few more minutes of silent awkwardness, Sav and Anya came to an unspoken agreement that it was time to go.

"Hey, Anya, don't you think we should go and study for the test on Monday?" Sav asked.

"Umm, yeah, we should." Anya and Sav stood up from the table. "Thanks for having me over, Mr. and Mrs. Bhandari." Anya said.

"It was no trouble, you are always welcome here." Mrs. Bhandari replied, smiling slightly, Mr. Bhandari managed a grunt and a nod in Anya's direction.

Alli stood up from her seat. "I've got a ton of homework, so I need to get started on that." The three of them made their way up the stairs.

Alli was about to go to her bedroom, give her brother and Anya some time alone before she freaked him out. She reached for the door handle, but stopped when she heard Sav say, "Alli, we need to talk."

Alli turned towards her brother, "About what?"

'He doesn't know, does he?' She thought, feeling a bit nervous.

Sav didn't answer, but he motioned for her to follow him and Anya into his room. Alli walked into his room. Anya sat down on Sav's bed, while her brother remained standing. Alli sent a questioning look towards Anya, who merely shrugged in return.

"So, earlier today" Sav began "I was reading the Anti-Grapevine and I saw something about you on there."

'He knows', Alli thought.

Sav continued, "It was about you and Johnny. It said something about the two of you at the ravine." Alli's darted from her shoes, to one of the many posters on her brother's wall, to Anya, sitting cross-legged on the bed, inspecting her nails, to practically anywhere, except Sav.

"I was going to talk to you about that." She told him, finally meeting his gaze. "But, before I do, what exactly did it say?" Alli knew that he needed to know the full story, but she still needed to know how much everyone else knew.

"It didn't say much, just that you two were there and someone saw you head off together. I'm pretty sure that it was a rumor, anyways. You were at Clare's that night and there is no way you would be hanging out with DiMarco at 'hook-up central'." He told her.

Alli suddenly found her feet to be very interesting. Sav looked at her, expectantly.

"It's not true. Is it?" He asked.

Still no response.

"Alli!" She looked at him, guilt evident on her face.

"Oh my God! What the heck were you thinking? I told you to stay away from him!" He was almost yelling now.

"He's not that bad, you know. There are times where I could actually describe him as sweet." She told him.

"'Sweet'?" Sav asked, incredulously. "Are we talking about the same guy here? The Johnny I know is definitely not 'sweet'!"

"Shhh...Do you want Mom and Dad to hear you?" Alli attempted to calm her brother down. It did no good. Sav carried on as if she hadn't said anything.

"You didn't , like…" He trailed off. Alli looked away from him and said nothing.

"You did, didn't you?" Alli just nodded silently.

"I am going to kill him." Sav told her. "He, like, forced you into it, right? Because it would actually make me feel so much better if he did."

Alli shook her head.

"So, you actually…" He started.

"I kind of…" She took a deep breath. "pressured him into it. He was willing to wait, but I thought he was going to leave me for someone more…experienced than me so, I went for it. If it makes you feel any better, I felt really bad about it, afterwards." She told him.

Anya, who had been silently observing this whole conversation, wanting to give the siblings some time to talk things out, chose that moment to speak.

"It was partially my fault." She confessed. "Mia and I told her the rumors about Johnny, back at Lakehurst, and that may have had something to do with it."

"That just reminded me! If you knew that he slept a lot of girls, why would you sti-"

Alli cut him off. "Those rumors, were just rumors. He didn't sleep with any of those girls, he said that he hadn't stuck around long enough."

"And what if he was lying?" Sav asked.

"He wasn't." Alli stated, firmly.

"How do you know, though?"

"Because he wasn't lying!" She exclaimed.

"Are you sure he wasn't lying?! Or are you sure you don't want him to be?!" Their voices were getting louder.

Anya decided that she needed to step in, before their parents came to see what they were yelling about.

"Both of you, calm down. Alli there is a possibility that Johnny isn't being completely truthful." Alli started to say something, but Anya cut her off. "But, I don't think he's lying. And Sav, maybe, Johnny isn't really as bad as you think he is."

"But, what if he is?" Sav asked.

"Then, Alli will probably have enough common sense to dump him." Anya assured him.

"I still don't like this." Sav stated. "DiMarco is an asshole and I don't want him anywhere near you."

"He is not an asshole!" Alli told her brother. "Why does everyone always say he is?!"

"I don't know, maybe it's because he actually is."

Alli inhaled deeply, trying to keep from screaming at her brother. "But, he isn't and that's that." She told him.

Sav rolled his eyes.

"And I don't care if you don't like him. I like him and I don't need you to tell me who I can and can't date." Alli stated.

"Apparently, you do." Sav proclaimed.

"Listen, we all know how this is gonna end." He told her.

"Please, enlighten me." Alli placed her hands on her hips.

"He's going to end up hurting you, Alli! You know it and I know it! I don't see why you have to be so stubborn!"

"I'm being stubborn?! If either of us is being stubborn, it's you! You just won't except the fact that I'm not a little girl anymore! I am old enough to make my own decisions, no matter what you say!" Alli huffed.

Sav sighed. "You want to date him? Fine, but don't come crying to me when he breaks your heart."

"I won't be cause he's not going to break my heart."

Alli turned around and walked out of Sav's room. She went into her bedroom, closed her door, and flopped down on her bed.

"That went better than expected." She said, to herself.

A/N: Oh my God, I am such a terrible person! It's been nearly a month since I last updated! But, along with this surprisingly long chapter, I bring amazing news! So, where I live, school starts next week, but I convinced my mom to let me home school myself! Which means, even though a lot of authors won't be able to update, which I learned the hard way last year, I will still be able to update pretty often. Well, that was my special news! Please review and tell me what you think!

- Caroline


	4. The End

Hello people who are reading this,

I just wanted you all to know that this story has been declared finished. Don't worry, I'm starting a new fic. Another Johnny/Alli fic cause they're awesome. I was seriously just too lazy to write the filler chapter between chapter 3 and the first chapter of the new fic, Shattered Glass. I'm about to start writing it and it will, hopefully, be posted by Sunday. It is now one in the morning where I live, so I think I should get some sleep. I know you are all probably mad at me for posting an author's note type thing as a chapter, but I had to. I hope every one who read this story reads the next one and, ummm, goodnight/morning.

-Caroline


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